At the school we are asked to practice going into trance every week on Freyja’s day – which is Friday. This is my first experience with crossing worlds via singing, instead of drumming or rattling. Amazing to be working on this, considering all the trouble I have had with singing this past year – well, more like working through the trouble. For the backstory go here.
When I went into trance today: I smudged the room, lit a candle and opened my mesa (medicine pouch). I brought in a statue of a cat I have, to represent Freyja. I rang some bells around my mesa and fed it with the smudge smoke. I selected a rock (rock/helper) from my mesa to hold, to ground me, closed my eyes and began to sing a song that I learned for fire ceremonies. Standing and signing I rocked myself back and forth. I noticed that it was difficult to visualize anything while I was singing. I felt like the effort of singing was distracting me – I was trying to ‘see’ roots going down from my feet into the earth. It took a little while to get the feel for it all. I did notice myself deepen into a trancy kind of state – though it was much more aware feeling – more like stepping side-ways than sinking down.
At that point I sat down on the bed and switched to a lullaby – actually Frere Jacques. I sang this for quite a while – then I sang in my guides and my ancestors – thanked them for watching over me. I switched to another lullaby I used to sing my son to sleep with and found myself rocking back and forth. In my mind I saw myself in a dark mist – and then I was at the prow of a boat – and old wooden boat that was sunk low in the water – so I could put my hand down into it if I wanted to. The prow was elaborately carved. Mist and boat and river under us (I felt like it was ‘us’) and night-time and quiet and my voice.
We sailed past a lantern sticking out from shore – a brief moment of light. Then we came to a grassy bank and I got out and found myself on the back of huge black bear. Still rocking back and forth as the bear carried me into the mist-forest. I put my hand down to touch the bear’s head and had a jolt when I felt the fur on his head. I instantly burst into tears. I felt like the bear was dying and he represented all animals. I felt the pain of their loss. I felt guilt and sorrow. I asked the bear to send me a song for him – and said I would sing it. I had to make myself stop crying to continue with the singing.
Then I was on an elephant in a jungle – swaying back and forth. And the elephant was showing me the trees – using her trunk like an arm and pointing, the sky – saying look! look at how beautiful it all is! The elephant was joyous – like the personification of joy.
Then I was back on the bear and moving back towards the little boat. I sang a thank-you to the elephant and the bear. Pulled myself out of the trance with a louder song.
I really enjoyed this! I’m surprised at my emotions – this has rarely happened to me in a journey. I also noticed it was much easier to just let go and ‘see’ what was going to happen, rather than feeling like I was making it all up – which is something I fight with in journey-work. Also I get afraid during journeys usually – which has kept me from really delving into them. This time I wasn’t afraid. I felt like my song was a tether… or a shield. It made me strong!